Failure

I have been reading a book series by Francine Rivers called "Mark of the Lion". wonderful. She is probably my favorite christian author. I have read every book our library has of hers. I have even reread some of my favorites. I love to read. I read the whole "Left Behind" series in a month. Give me a good book and I'll devour it. But yet I find myself struggling to read god's word on a daily bases.

I find myself comparing what I read in Mrs. Rivers books to the bible, but to actually sit down and read God's word, I don't. I get these little tangents every now and then. I feel so.. I can't even put it into words. Maybe a failure for God. How am I going to be able to lead others if I can't discipline myself to train up in his word every day? I'm more than willing to encourage my husband but I find no force for myself. I pray that God will help to motivate me. I feel that God has convicted me to write this down. I had something else in mind but ended up deleting it.

Oh Lord, humble me. Let me find that driving force that will compel me toward your living word! Let me be your vessel that I may train to spread your love and word! Oh Lord, thy will, not mine!