Alone at Last?

Michael left for Kuwait on Aug. 14, 2007.

I am now alone in Indiana with the kids. I have found a nice church that I am happy with. But unfortunately they do not have any small groups. Our friends Molly and Jason leave up near the race track so that's only about 20 mins. away. It might as well be farther. I hardly get a hold of them on the phone. It takes them always a couple of days to get back with me. By then I no longer need their help. This experience so far has taught me to be very independent. I have found Gabriel a school and he starts Sept. 4th. Lydia will also go to the same building but her own class. It's called Kindercare. They are a daycare but they have their own private kinder garden.

I have had some interviews with a couple of long term care homes but they also insist that I would have to be at work by 6am and I can not do that with the kids. day cares don't open until 6am. No one is will ing to work with me because you also have to work every other weekend. My children will already be missing their daddy they don't need me to be away either. I have applied to Ruby Tuesday because I can work only 5 hr a day and that would work out better with the kids. I'm waiting to hear back from them to see if I have gotten the job. I hope I do. I'm going insane at home alone. I need to stay busy. Get out and try to have something of my own life. But pinning away at home over Michael being away from me is just waiting for depression to rear it's ugly head.

I will not succumb to depression. One I have no time and two I really have not allowed myself to give over the time that has been stripped away from my family. there is no point for I can do nothing about this. Life must go on and I'm all I have for my children right now. They need me to be strong. I will cry though. When Michael is home and safe I will only spill those tears of joy and relief. But now it will do no good. I must be strong. It will do no good. I plan on keeping up with this as regularly as possible.